Living In Safe Mode

Have you ever opened your computer in safe mode? Perhaps you are living your life in safe mode…

When referring to computers, safe mode is a troubleshooting option for Windows that starts your computer in a limited state. Only the basic files and drivers necessary to run Windows are started.  Safe mode almost always (nothing is 100%) is an indication that a problem exists.

Here is a good place for me to ask a question…are you operating in safe mode in any of your relationships? Confused? Please allow me to explain.

Yesterday in an open group session (i.e., Open means I am not sharing any confidential information.), a young man shared his method of setting boundaries when he starts a new job. His approach was met with a great deal of opposition. Several people expressed that they believed that setting a boundary up front could only be expressed and perceived negatively. As such, the chance of a negative outcome (in their opinion) was imminent. — Of course, I couldn’t disagree more!

I am willing to bet that most of the people in that room who were uncomfortable with the young man’s up front approach are living their lives in safe mode and more than likely have several unhealthy relationships. I am also willing to bet that someone reading this is thinking I have made a broad judgment without knowing his or her situation. However, I submit to you and them that healthy relationships cannot exist without boundaries and rarely can they exist in safe mode.

Here is a good place to explain what safe mode means in relationships…

Do you say yes when you really want to say no? Do you agree with something just to avoid an argument? Do you participate in group activities that you dislike but state that you like the activity? Do you keep your opinion to yourself for fear of being judged? Do you accept bad behavior on your job for fear of being fired? These are all characteristics of a safe mode mentality. As such, if you answered yes to any of these questions, you are more than likely living in safe mode in the relationships associated with that area of your life.

Please know that I am not telling you to unload your feelings, or say exactly what you feel to anyone or that there will not be any consequences if you speak your mind/heart. However, it would be irresponsible of me if I did not tell you that communicating in safe mode limits the possibilities of your relationships. As well as the other person never experiences the full benefit of the wonderful person you can be.

I challenge you to redefine the definition of living in safe mode by changing your perception of what it means to set boundaries. People will treat you the way that you allow them to. Therefore, if you don’t want to do something, say “No.” If you want to be spoken to in a certain manner, communicate how you want to be approached. If you have an opposing opinion, express it in love and with confidence. Let people know that your new safe mode is being transparent in regards to what they can expect from you and what is expected of them when it comes to you.

     

Vision I M Possible Workshop

Has anyone every told you that your dreams were impossible? Well the devil is a liar. Join us on 3/21 and proclaim your vision! Click on the picture to enlarge. Go to VisionIMPossible.eventzilla.net to purchase your tickets today! See you there ~

Peace be unto you always,

Peachie

Not Average

Peach & Blessings All, 

On most nights, just after midnight the “real Peachie” goes into over-drive. I am usually, watching something on TV, washing clothes, investigating new software, updating my web site on my laptop, adding apps to my iPad, posting instagram pictures from my phone, adding music to my iPod, etc. Around 2:30am, I might eat a sandwich and start to clean the kitchen. In essence, nighttime is when my most authentic, creative self sores under the non-judgmental eyes of the moon.

It is my understanding that even as an infant, I would be wide awake in the middle of the night when my parents came to check on me. As a preteen, my grandfather and I would go to Hardees in the middle of the night for biscuits, coffee and conversation with the other old men. As a teenager, I started my homework after 11:00pm (the time that I had to be off the phone). In college, (#N.C.A&T, Aggie Pride!), I kept the 3rd floor of Curtis Hall awake and didn’t miss a 10 to 2 nor the 2 to 6(am) at the local clubs (MC2 and Trevi Fountain – LOL, I am telling my age). At church retreats I try to run myself ragged as to not keep my “early-to-bed” roommate awake. And at my husband’s distress, I try to do the above-mentioned activities quietly. ~ All my life, I have had a high functioning nightlife that the average person cannot imagine.

For years, I have been called a night owl, a vampire and even hopelessly nocturnal. Additionally, I have discovered that almost everyone I know is a Sleep Expert! All who swear that getting 4 hours of sleep a night (or less) is bad for my health. Over the years, I have researched circadian rhythm, listened to ocean music and lay in a dark silent room for hours watching the ceiling awaiting sleep that never arrived. I have felt guilty for keeping people awake and made attempts to change at no avail.

It has been reported that the average adult needs at least 7 1/2 to 8 hours of sleep a night. But did you know that the average person will spend 25 years asleep? Or that the average person takes 7 minutes to fall asleep? All of those facts are valuable if you are someone who is just like almost everyone else; an average person.

Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco discovered that 3% of the population has a gene that enables them to do well on less than 6 hours of sleep a night. Similar studies have been published by the Sleep Research Society and American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Many scientists label us (the 3%) as rare. Further noting that we are highly creative people who have the ability to stay more focused as the day goes on, compared with our counterparts who sleep for 7 ½ hours or more.

By now, you should be asking what my sleeping habits have to do with relationships. And I am glad you asked. As such, let me get straight to the point…It is un-wise to apply average standards to unique people, conditions or situations. Please (and I say this with love) keep your average opinion to yourself. When you allow the unique people in your life to be who they are and do what they do, they will undoubtedly produce results that are exceptional, outstanding, unparalleled, peerless, matchless, unique, unrivaled, inimitable, beyond compare, without equal, second to none; anything but average.

Peace be unto you always,

A Few of Peachie’s Favorite Things

Tip: Double Click anywhere on this post to enlarge picture.

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